Let's Blow This Popcorn Stand...After We Stand In Line For A While

US Air says to get to the airport 3 hours ahead for international flights. And they aren’t kidding. It only takes these 9 easy steps, and I probably missed some. We got to the airport at 9:20 am for our 11:50 am flight.

1. Once off the “Leonardo Express”, which comes into Terminal 3, we had to take a shuttle to Terminal 5. 

2. Stand in line for what we thought was check-in, but turns out it was just to have our passports checked.

3. Go stand in another line to check-in and deal with luggage.

4. Stand in line to go through security. Interestingly, no one takes their shoes off to go through security here. 

5. Go through another passport check.

6. Get on another shuttle to get to the departure gates.

7. Stand in line to…we thought, board. They take our tickets, check our passports again.

8. I get pulled out of line for a pat down.

9. Get in line for another shuttle bus, which takes us out to the plane, on the tarmac, where we climb the stairs to the plane.

Plane is packed with school or church groups who find it highly amusing to press the call buttons repeatedly, plus the required number of crying babies and toddlers. Between the 4 of us we watch Amelia, Marley and Me, The Invention of Lying, The New Adventures of Old Christine, a Robin Williams comedy special.

At Philadelphia, we have the following steps:

1. Stand in line to have passports and customs cards checked. 

2. Collect checked bags so we can haul them over to some guy who loads them into another conveyor.

3. Stand in line to have passports checked.

4. Get customs cards collected.

5. Stand in line to go through security. Remove shoes.

6. Stand in line for another passport check.

It was exhausting. We had what was supposed to be a 2 1/2 hour layover, and we barely had time to grab a bite to eat at the food court. I am checking my calendar now, hoping that I have nothing that involves standing in line for anything in the next month.

Dinner Sunday

After that, you might wonder why I bothered to ask the hotel staff to recommend a restaurant, but I was in the mood to really push the outer limits of their abilities. Although you might think I had already done that with the boarding passes. Anyway, this place was quite a walk, back down to the area we had such a good dinner Saturday. It was way past where the end of the lines for the Vatican Museum were for every day we were in Rome…

Lo and behold, the place was yummy.  Fried baby calamari – and they were babies, ½ inch long and delicious, and yes, I am also wondering how you obtain baby squids. Are they farmed? Secret breeding grounds discovered and monitored?

A meat platter for the meatitarians – several types of salami, proscuitto, plus fresh mozzarella and grilled veggies. Pasta and steak and seafood risotto, all very very good, especially with the bottle of Sicilian syrah Bob and I had. British waiter who was a bit nutty, but enjoyable and helpful.

Such a pleasant way to end the day and the stay…until we walked out into the pouring rain. Huge thunderstorm. I suggested we have the restaurant staff call a taxi, but Bob’s response (come on, you all know him, you know what his response was!) “We don’t need a cab.”

I haven’t been that mad at my husband in a very very long time. I haven’t been that wet with all my clothes on in a very very long time. I mentally kicked myself for not just telling him, “Meet you there” and taking a cab with the boys – which of course I couldn’t do anyway because he has been handing out the euros like they were papal favors.

Wet clothes to pack, damp shoes to wear on our 12 hour trip home…

But not to worry, he's still alive, we are still married, and I was speaking to him by lunchtime Monday.

About Our Hotel In Rome

We are staying at the Hotel Spring House, which is a Best Western property of all things. Anyway, when we checked in, we discovered the fridge in our room wasn’t working., so we did what anyone would do, and we let the front desk staff know. We got this funny response – you know, when they say they’ll take care of it right away but they have this look on their face like they can’t figure out why this would bother you. We continued to ask every single day we were there, because the fridge never did work. It became one of the standing jokes of our stay – “Anyone check the fridge today?” "Oh, it's not working!"

There was one electrical outlet that was marked as having power 24 hours. We couldn’t figure out why this was noteworthy until we figured out that you had to insert the room key into a slot inside the room for the lights to work. When you left with the key, the power in the room turned off. This meant we also set off the room alarm several times, usually in the morning as we made our separate ways to breakfast.Why? Because you can only have one key (and one internet login, per room, that can’t be used on more than one device at a time - another story for another time perhaps). So, if Bob and I left the boys sleeping, and took the key, and I went back to the room and they let me in, the alarm would go off. Because the door was being opened without a key in either door slot or the inside light slot. Get it? We didn't either. Somehow, this was all to ensure our safety, we were told every time we set the alarm off.

I’m posting these tidbits now, because I decided to print our boarding passes Sunday night, and went to the guest computer nook and hooked up my laptop to the printer. Started printing the passes – no ink. Not that I was surprised at this point. Went to the front desk, and of course, no one was capable of finding/installing a new ink cartridge. So, they had me email the pass PDF to the front desk so they could print them, complete with grumbling about the 8 pages this was going to take (4 people, 2 flights, sorry!).

It just all seemed to make sense then.

Vonn Is Ready To Go Home

Last Day in Rome

We are fried and cranky and have no plan. I don’t know if that is a better way to deal with the day or not. Bob announces he wants to check out the Castel Sant' Angelo so we trek down the boulevard in front of St Peter’s Square. The castle was used by the popes during times of war, and then as the treasury, which they needed to fund the bazillion pounds of gold leaf that is apparently necessary to truly glorify God. The castle was pretty cool and we were able to wander around the battlements and towers and get more great views of the city.

The day turned into a hiking day as we headed over to Piazza Navona and Campo de Fiori. And Ryne found a McDonald’s. 

I indulged in a diet coke WITH ICE – OMG, it was soooo good. Haven’t had a drink with ice since Paris, where they would give you all of three cubes in your drink, and even those were hollow.

This behemoth is the monument for Victor Emmanuel II, which is quite spectacular and can be seen from all over town. It seems to serve several purposes that I am still unclear about. But it means something important to Italians, to the point that you have to follow "church rules" of no sitting, loud noises, disrespectful behavior, etc.

Then we headed back around to Trajan’s Forum and via die Fori Imperiali,  which they close to traffic on weekends. And found this really awful Second Coming of Michael Jackson.

The photo does not do justice to how truly bad this guy was, and I have no explanation for the huge crowd that surrounded him. Maybe they were as horrified as we were and simply could't tear their eyes away.

Things I Don't Understand

Yeah, they are legion, I’m sure. But more specifically,  I just don’t understand why I am expected to tip someone whose job is simply to tell me when a bathroom stall is available.

I don’t understand restaurant cover charges. Most places charge about 2 euro per person apparently because you are going to take up space at a table and spend money on food and drink.

No Need To Know Italian For This Kind of Thing

I’m sitting on the metro in Rome. Across from me is an older man, and a young  Europeanly-attractive couple gets on and sits next to him. Body language indicates that the young woman is pissed, and sure enough she starts letting loose with rapid-fire Italian (the f-word is the same in Italian, too!) and flailing hands. The young man is sprawled in his seat with what can only be described as a not-this-again attitude. After about 5 minutes of passionate Italian spewage and many f-bombs later, her companion finally starts to respond, and he takes the completely wrong approach with (apparently) whatever the Italian is for “I don’t know why you are making such a big deal about this.” This results in a non-stop stream of what I am sure were Italian obsenities, and he continues with what is clearly along the lines of  “That’s not really what happened” and/or “What is your problem” and/or “You just need to calm down about this,”  all delivered with a slight smile and the slouching posture, and none of which settles her down, what a surprise. She jumps up to get off at the next stop, which surprises him - and they both exit the train. Show's over folks! I look over at the older man who was next to them and roll my eyes. He laughs and shrugs.